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SEAN CARLESS
KING OF INTERNETS
Canada
269 Posts |
 Posted - 05/21/2009 : 17:17:00
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If you've watched late night Info-mercials as much as I have, (man cannot live by just “Sex TV the Channel midnight Baby Blue Movies” alone) chances are you've seen the SLANKET® (not to be confused with direct competitor: THE SNUGGIE)-- a multicolored blanket/ all encompassing body coverall combination designed to keep you warm, and keep those who once respected you laughing vociferously at your ridiculous plight as only your frazzled head protrudes like a turtle from what is basically a giant potato-sack. But holy shit, toastiness!
That said, I recently discovered their Website where they solicited Product Testimonials. And being the respected journalist-cum-author of the highest moral standing that I am, I decided to deliver unto them an Internet celebrity Testimonial from my highly reputable person on their fine product.
I will keep you abreast of this situation as nothing in anyway interesting develops! Wish me luck! (And something more productive to do with my time…).
PRODUCT TESTIMONIAL:
Before purchasing my SLANKET®, I was always an outcast in Wizarding circles. I mean, sure, I had the hat, a swank-assed beard, the big book of mischief and even the Staff of Ages, but still, *something* was missing. Turns out that was pants. And a robe. But thanks to my new SLANKET®, I’m like totally the toast of evil magicians and purveyors of dark mysticism everywhere! YA!
So, whether you’re in need of a robe to cast advanced spells entirely for revenge purposes, worship Satan, get together with a few friends in hoods to torment minorities, or just have a Tom Cruise/Nicole Kidman-esque sexy naked masquerade to go to (and who doesn’t?!), the SLANKET® will cover all your needs. And your genitals. My lawyer insisted on that last part.
Oh, turns out it can be used as a blanket, too! Who knew!
-Sean Carless.
(Age: 32 (human years). Timeless in wizard years.)
Journalist.
Aficionado of sexy parties.
Wizard.
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quote:
Originally posted by AndarielHalo:
By the transitive fallacy totally legit and real truth, that would mean that if Sean Carless defeated Vince McMahon, and Vince McMahon defeated the United States Federal Government... then Sean Carless defeated the United States Federal Government.
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THIS IS HOW I SPEND MY TIME.
