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AndarielHalo
Total Nonstop AndarielHalo
South Sandwich Islands
1092 Posts |
 Posted - 10/19/2009 : 08:14:20
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So since this forum is all quiet and such, why not liven it up with lots more of ME!? The Kurt Angle of this forum? And I have some neck pains sometimes, so maybe some day I can do my recaps with a BROKEN FREAKIN NECK.
So I'mma answer questions about my recaps never asked by anyone ever for reasons stemming from "they're all assholes who never bother to give a shit that far" to "they don't exist"
Question 1, from Harleen Quinzelle IV:
Why don't you rate individual matches by star or number ratings?
Well quite honestly, sometimes opinions can't be concretely discussed in solid numerical terms. Sometimes matches can arouse a great many emotions, but because the wrestling was shit, it's unfair to consider it a poor match. Besides, why do you need numbers to scroll down to and ignore the hideously awesome play-by-play I present in as coherent a fashion as possible? You want a number? How about FOUR, as in FOURK YOU!?
I used to include individual thoughts after each match, but that was phased out like so many Klingons before a Phaser because I ceased to have thoughts... on the matches.
I've always thought about adding a star system for each match, but my system would involve celebrities, and designating arbitrary scorings out of an arbitrary number (I love the word "arbitrary"). For example: "I gief 18 stars out of 140" for a particularly shit match.
From Canadian Bacon Ate My Grandpop:
I don't understand the "Morganite"/"Morganate" thing you do. Are you kind of retarded?
No. I'm either one or the other. I don't stand on the fence on issues as serious as that.
Since Morgan gimmick appears to have a loving affair with arbitrary chemistry/geographical terms for his name and signatures (like DNA of TNA, Blueprint, Carbon Footprint) I figured his name should follow suit.
Thus, sometimes, when Matt Morgan has less oxygen, he is Morganite, and when he has more oxygen, he is Morganate. This stems from chemistry, where ions that have one more oxygen atom than normal becomes "-ate" like Sulfate, and when it loses an oxygen atom from normal, it becomes an "-ite" like Chlorite.
What this means for Matthias Morgan is entirely up to you.
From Josh Gaitan:
you is a girl?
I'm not entirely sure what this totally real life and legit question is asking from some months ago. I must conjecture therefore that the asker's mother was a prostitute who reserved love in her heart for all the men who paid for her pussy, but had none to spare for her bastard son-guy.
As such, I must retroactively decline to answer in the affirmative, because I peruse the depths of my psychological mind to discover that if this son-dude is seeking a female power in his life, he may yet hunt me down and find me and be disappointed to learn that I know someone whose father owns a speargun, so I could probably kill him.
From Tyler Lawrence:
Great rant on TNA! I feel bad for you because you have recap that shit and TNA's nothing but a worthless promotion that focuses on former WWE/WCW sloths that can't work a single match anymore!
It was definitely fun reading your rant! Hopefully you'll be back full-time TNA re-capper (if TNA doesn't kill you first)!!
Haha, have a great day!
That's not a question, five month old e-mail text. But because I'm so awesome, I'll rephrase it in my mind and answer the question.
Yes, I am back as full-time TNA recapper.
From Nightmare One:
You sir have achieved an amazing feat. You have managed to recap tna with the same amount of absurdity of the goings on as the event itself. On the one hand I am impressed, on the other my desire to even remotely follow the product is....well, it no longer exists. So you get points for doing what a staff of writers managed to do for raw. So a hearty thumbs at least 90 degrees from up to you, sir. May your addled rantings somehow further your own designs or something.
Again, not a question. I'm noticing a lot of things from the real feedback things: They're almost all from last May. What gives, viewers? Stop being such a pussy---I'M the one who does that.
Rephrasing as a question, I'm pretty sure following the product can affect people who aren't their own parents by some trick of fate of pseudo-time travel and pop rocks and cocaine. Just look at the last group of people who produced substantially unfunnier versions of my show Septuple R and ended up retiring early like so many Terry Funks. I am the greatest recap in the history of our sport.
From Jared Cantu:
Andariel: You may be my new favorite person ever. That is all.
Knowledge is my treasure, and my treasure is knowledge.
Enough now. Send more feedback so I can humiliate you further on a public forum frequently frequented by thirteen people at most.
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My thoughts exactly. |
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Q&A with nonexistant feedback
